Why there are so many alcoholic men in my life? TGL #18.


What does it mean to get married to an alcoholic or to a man who later on will become an alcoholic? What is it? Is it a mistake? Is it foolishness, punishment, or fate? All these commonly accepted answers presuppose the experience of self-pity, strive to save an alcoholic, or humility.

I offer you to see yourself in this alcoholic. Have you ever considered what an alcoholic experiences and why he or she drinks? My approach presupposes a full understanding of yourself. Everything you see, especially in people that are close to you is you. Are you interested in yourself or do you blame yourself?

Why there are so many alcoholic men in my life?

— Why there are so many alcoholic men in my life? I consider myself to be an independent woman. I work, and I earn my money. I probably scare people away with this behavior.    

— No. You scare certain people away and attract other people. You are a responsible woman. Now, let’s take a look at what an alcoholic is? It’s a human being who, in a state of drunkenness, can neither walk nor talk. He is stumbling around pushing other people until finally he falls to the ground vomiting. He cannot even be responsible for his movements.

We are passing our lessons in duality here. If on a conscious level, you consider yourself responsible and manifest it, you will attract the opposite. And based on that opposite you will feel self-importance as a responsible human being who controls herself and the situation, while those alcoholics don’t. Therefore, the question is why do you need them?

— I am already tired of being independent.  

— You are tired of being independent! Then become non-independent. An example of this non-independency is in front of your eyes all your life—alcoholics and drug users. Can you get drunk, go outside, and fall into the snow singing? Someone responsible will approach you and say: «Who is this? This is such a responsible woman! How can she lay here in the snow drunk? » Everyone will be surprised and people will start to point fingers at you. And this is scary.

Everything that develops in your external life and in the life of people you attract is a reflection of your inner scenario. This alcoholic or drug user is inside of you, not outside. But you don’t want to know it. You accuse him saying: «It’s not me».

But he is around and around you. You scream: «I am tired of you. Get away from me! ». You push him through a door, but he comes back through a window. Why? It happens because he is you. I offer you to constantly investigate yourself in all your manifestations. But the question I asked you: «Do you know what an alcoholic experience and why does he drink? », — you cannot answer.

In such case, I make a conclusion that you are not familiar with this part of yourself. And this is quite a significant part of you. It is as significant as the responsible part which you describe and talk about with satisfaction. But at the same time, you don’t know anything about your other side, which is manifested in these alcoholics.

Tell me why do they drink? How do they live? What do they feel? What happens to them when fingers are pointed at them? What did he feel when someone’s finger pointed at him for the first time: «Ah, that’s who you are! An irresponsible drunk! What kind of a man are you? You are not a man! »

What happened to him then? He went and he got drunk because he did not want to hear that. He accused himself and started to destroy himself using alcohol. Later on, he became unruly.  He got used to these fingers pointed at him, and he started to drink daily.

Life is hard, and it has its reasons. Everyone has his or her own reasons for everything that happens in their life. A killer has reasons to kill. An alcoholic has reasons to drink. A drug addict has reasons to use drugs. A thief has reasons to steal. But do you know these reasons? Do you understand them? Do you want to figure them out? Or do you say: «This is society’s garbage. Let police take care of them. It is not my concern unless he falls next to me and vomits on my jacket».

My approach presupposes a full understanding of yourself. I tell you: «Everything you see, especially in people that are close to you is you». Are you interested in yourself or do you blame yourself? You blame.

People, who happen to be in a sleeping state of consciousness, perceive themselves from one side only. For example, a man says: «I am responsible. I am handsome. I am rich. I am successful». But in reality, how can he find this out? He finds this out through the opposite side of himself that he does not accept. For me, on the other hand, a human being is not simply these qualities: positive separately and negative separately. No, for me a human being is a scale of duality.

If you tell me, for example, that you are responsible, I immediately see your irresponsibility, because it is one scale: responsibility—irresponsibility. That’s how the training ground is built here. That’s how the personality of a human being is constructed. Personality does not have one side without the opposite side. Therefore, I do not condemn the opposite sides, as you do.  I allow you an opportunity to understand and to accept yourself in both sides, i.e. to master the whole scale of duality in yourself.

— I can understand what you are saying in general, but I can’t see irresponsibility in myself.   

— You are irresponsible in these alcoholics. You project your irresponsibility onto them. You can’t even understand that they are the reflected parts of you. That’s how one-sided your perception is.

— Do I have to get into this state in order to investigate it?  

— Yes, that’s the minimum you can do. You have to understand and feel this person very well, but until you accuse and blame him for alcoholism, you will not be able to do it. But looks like you accumulated many arguments through the years. He is not a human being for you now. He is just a floor mop. I offer you something totally different. Take a look at this from the point of view of an investigator. It does not mean that I say that alcoholics are good, and it does not mean that I say that alcoholics are icky. I say that this is a subject that you as an investigator should explore. Start to investigate.

The position of an investigator is not a position of a condemning judge. It is not a position of a defense attorney who is defending his client. It is a position of an investigator who wants to understand what another human being experience. I am not an alcoholic. I drink very infrequently. But I drink when I need to figure something out. Sometimes certain blocks do not allow me to see something, and I use a drink. But somehow I understand people who drink very well. I also understand people who use drugs, even though I don’t use them myself.

— Perhaps it is my maternal program. I push hard. I am vicious. Everything has to be the way I say as it is the only right thing. That is probably what pushes a man to alcoholism.  

— That’s the key. Imagine a man whose woman tells him what to do, how to do it, where to go, and where to sit down. Will he feel himself a man? But he is in a male body. He has to be a man, as he was told. But he is not a man because he is under her foot. What does he start to do? He starts to feel guilty and, as a result, blame toward her. However, he is afraid to manifest it. So, he starts to drink, i.e. to destroy himself.

But you have contributed to it. And you find specifically these men. Imagine a man that would order you around: «Do this! Do that! Stay there! » How would you react to it?

— I think that if it was a strong and responsible man, I would have probably accepted it.

— Don’t lie to me. This is your assumption, but if he were to show up in your house … it will be ultimate fighting. Someone will be carried out of that house pretty soon. I don’t know whether it will be you or him, but someone will be carried out. So, in order to maintain this role that was given to you by you program, you need to have these men that you can knock down. Would you be able to allow something else? That’s the question. You will not allow it as then you will have to accept that opposite side in yourself. That’s the difficulty of our work, as we open the sides of us that we project onto others and accuse.


Take a look at the people that are close to you. What do you blame them for? Remembering that people that are close to you are your reflections, redirect and address this blame to yourself. Feel what the one you blame is experiencing. You know this state in yourself, as it is precisely what you feel when others blame you for that. Determine which shadow side of yourself you avoid, not accepting it in yourself.

Dr. Emin Kuliev

The Art of Awareness


After years of experiencing what I would call catastrophic events, that culminated in the loss of every possession I owned; it became apparent that I had gone through a death.   Everything that I identified as me, was gone.  Along with that experience came emotions of fear, abandonment, depression, vulnerability, hopelessness, and too many others to list, but I think you can get the picture.  Years were lost, moving through all the feelings those words created.  It was a time that I would never want to repeat, but along the journey came an awareness that I did not possess previously.

All of a sudden, everything that I thought to be true was no longer valid, even down to my Spiritual beliefs.  Everything needed to go, I guess.  All that stuff that I was dragging around that was so important, all those earthly things, had to be eliminated, so that a new being could emerge.  Dr. Victor Frankl, a concentration camp survivor stated,  If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.

It is when devastation strikes that our senses become aware of the world around us.  The Do Not Disturb sign is ripped away and we are no longer cocooned in the meaningless drivel that surrounded us before.  We are no longer in the slumber of everyday lives, but fully awake to our surroundings.  A sense of a need to survive, kicks in.

In my lifetime this world has changed so extensively, that I wonder where it will go.  We have gone from black and white televisions, to color, to mobile phones, to computers and algorithms that are becoming well versed in dictating our lives.  We have been  integrated into the world of binary, with the explicit determination that machines are far superior to the mind of humans.  One does not need the ability to think much farther than what button to push on the keyboard and supposed data determines the outcome.  Human beings, who have the art of creation in their souls have been relegated to sitting behind computer screens in many jobs.   Verbal communication has been consigned, not through interaction, but through mindless emails, twitters, tweats, that do not need any human awareness at all.  Feel, angry, lonely,  hopeless, not making the sales quota?  Just push the buttons and voila, the problem is fixed.  Or at least communicated to some source that can pop up suggestions on how the problem can be fixed.  Countless of times, I hear that things have gone wrong or things cannot be fixed because we either don’t have the data, or the data does not include the information in order to solve the problem.  I never hear anything about scraping the data and allowing human minds to take over.

Why is an awareness of this important?  We have been lulled into a sleep, by technology that is becoming expansively a dictatorship.  Your humanness is not important, we gotcha covered, don’t worry, the information is being gathered to solve the problem.  However, we are not sure if we can solve that problem because, we did tell you that everything was being taken over by machines.  Sorry about the job loss.  Trust us, it will be okay.

Disease is a result of your accusation of yourself. TGL 17


Our body works on energy. During the fight between the opposite parts of the personality, some of this energy is lost. That shortage of energy leads to diseases. Every organ of our body is functional, i.e. it performs a certain function. Our accusation of a certain function leads to development of a disease in a particular organ.

Are you ready to have your attention enter the diseased part of your body? Are you ready to meet what you fight? Are you ready to relate to your internal enemy with love? If yes, the old situation will open itself up. It will allow you to see it in a different light, and in the process the energy that was stuck there will be released.

The secret of healing is simple. You need to allow yourself to experience what you did not allow yourself to experience, considering it to be unacceptable and horrible. You have to understand that everything you have ever experienced was a necessary experience. In such a way, you can come to peace with yourself and start to re-experience all the aspects of the experience you have had, integrating it into a whole.

Disease is a result of your accusation of yourself

— We don’t do anything that does not depend on us. And as you consider that many things do not depend on you, you are not going to do much. It’s foolish to do something that does not depend on you.

We create our life ourselves. Until you fully accept this point of view you will not be able to change anything in your life. I know that I create my own life. If I know that I create everything in my life, I will be able to change things that do not satisfy me. If there is something that I cannot control over there, then I cannot change it, and, therefore, I cannot change my life. That’s a very important thing to understand.

— One simply does not have enough power for everything, and it is reflected on one’s health.  

— It is not about power. It is about perception. That is essential. If you perceive your life as a life that even for 1% is controlled by someone else, you will not be able to change anything in it. As the majority of people consider that they do not create their life totally, they can’t change it.

I assert that every human being creates his own life the way it is himself.  If you don’t like something, you have to ask yourself and only yourself: “Why did I create this?” This is the most important topic that we all need to understand. This has to do with everything, including health. There is nothing here that is related to you that you did not create yourself. If you are not healthy right now, you are the one who created this particular disease yourself.

— What if it is a hereditary disease? How did I create it?  
— You don’t know who you are. You calmly discuss everything under the sun now, not having the answer to the most important question: who are you?

— But this is a diagnosis that was given to me by my doctor.  

— Who is given a diagnosis? Diagnosis is given to a patient. Medicine is not a business of health. The business of medicine is disease. When you come to a doctor, a doctor will find a disease in you. A doctor has to find a disease as otherwise he is not a good doctor, and he will not have anyone to treat. Today’s doctor does not heal. He treats diseases.

Everything depends on how you call it, including yourself. If you experienced a fleeting pain somewhere in your body, you run to a doctor, hear out the diagnosis, and here you go—you are the one with a disease. I don’t go to doctors. I don’t get sick. I transform.

— I also want to transform.

— If you want to transform, you have to do it yourself. If you are sick, it is your choice to be sick. I evaluate facts. The fact is you go to a doctor, swallow pills, and think that you have a disease. Who created this fact in your life? You did it yourself.

— You are talking about a choice, but a human being does not choose here—certain circumstances just add up.   

— Are we discussing disease now?

— I am talking about health.  

— And what is health?

— Health is a state of good general wellbeing. It is not a disease, and no one can make me sick.  

— You were just saying that nothing depends on you. Now you assert that no one can make you sick.

— Not everything depends on me, and I have not chosen to have a disease. I choose health and healthy life style, but there is this constant war that goes on inside me.   

— Because health and sickness walk hand in hand. The war is an accepted way of life in this particular reality. Health and sickness also fight in this reality. You, in particular, are fighting for health.

This is the reality of fighters. Therefore, we have wars and terrorism. Everyone here is fighting himself. One side of duality is fighting its opposite side. Until you agree with the dual nature of your personality, you will not be able to understand what I am talking about.

— I was healthy before. I was an athlete, and then I turned into a disabled invalid. It is scary to be torn away from the world. It is scary when people start to pity you. How can one transfer oneself from a state where, for example, a certain organ was removed, to a state where you are not perturbed whether you are healthy or not, when you deal with physical pain?   

— This is very difficult. When I am identified with the duality «health—disease» and start to activate a disease, I turn into an invalid, become afraid of it, and make all the efforts to become, so to speak, healthy. When I flip to another side and become healthy, I have a fear of becoming an invalid. You need to accept both sides in yourself as two sides of one coin.

Let me review a specific example. One day I woke up fatigued and hurting all over. I observed that being identified with my body state, I was doing everything I could to transform it to a state of health. But fear of a disease remained, and this fear created the disease in its chronic state. That is what was happening in my case.

I was in a state in which I felt myself to be a very old man who could barely move, even though there were no obvious indications of a disease. I felt totally empty inside. This reality appeared to be boring. I had a feeling people did not understand anything at all. These thoughts were coming to me all the time. My body did not obey me. It wanted to lie down or to sit down all the time. It wanted to rest. This state was not acute. It was chronic. I was constantly reminded of the disease.

I could not understand what it was as I was not fully exploring this duality: «health—disease». I was quite frequently sick as a child and that caused me to have a strong impulse to be healthy. I started to go to the gym and I continue to do it today. Daily exercises in a gym are very important for me. By doing them daily, I transform the state of a disease into the state of health. I don’t do them to achieve results. I do these exercises to be in a state of health. And this impulse is so strong, that I go to the gym on a daily basis. I run, and I swim. If I don’t do it, I get into a very uncomfortable state, i.e. the state of a disease.

— That is exactly what happens to me. 

— That is the mechanism we are discussing now and it cannot be any different. I can see that your minds cannot comprehend it. We can discuss it again and again, but the conditioned mind does not want to understand it. It understands it on its own—in separation.

— You are right, I cannot grasp it.

— You cannot get it because your mind is totally identified with this duality. If the mind, seeing a duality, starts to think, it means it is outside itself. But in order for this to happen, one has to have a strong passion to become aware. I am giving you the tools that are necessary for the work of awareness. Will you use these tools or not is for you to decide.

Right now I am discussing the duality: «health—disease». But how can you understand it? You can only understand it if you correctly understand how the laws of duality work. In order to understand these laws correctly, you need to live through and experience all this knowledge. You have to understand it through your own personality.

Our process is not only intellectual. This is a process that unites the mind, the body, and the Soul—a triunal process. The information about how things are to happen here come from the Soul. What happens to you is determined by your mind. You experience it through your physical body. But a human being got torn away from the Soul, factually from God, and got stuck in the duality of the personality and the conditioned mind. It is precisely the dual personality that creates the disease.

A human body is a perfect apparatus. Notwithstanding the horrific management, it lives on average about seventy years. In reality, our body is built to last for many hundred years. The diseases are created because the personality accentuates on one side of a duality, while being afraid and fighting the opposite to it part. Any disease is a result of a constant inner war or resistance of one part of your personal duality to its opposite part.

Naturally, everything is being reflected on the body, all the diseases of the organs are connected to this war. This is a view of a nontraditional medicine which does not view a human body only from the standpoint of physiology. We study the work of the conditioned mind here. But the conditioned mind cannot see its own duality.

I became aware of this duality when I saw that my experiencing myself as an old, tired man is the opposite side of the state of excitement I conduct my seminars with. This vision was the first step that led to further development of this theme. Now I can see it in full with all the attributes of aging, diseases, and fear of trauma. In order to become aware of a particular personal duality, one has to experience a broad diapason of states connected to it, and to become fully aware of those states.


Take a look at your motivation to be healthy which sprouts out of fear of being sick. Try to see the fight that occurs between these two parts of you. Look at your disease as the best method to «solve» a certain problem—the method that you have chosen. See the specific gain that the state of disease brings you. What are you freeing yourself of by having a particular disease? What do you get rid of by having this disease? Conflict in which particular duality has caused this disease?

Dr. Emin Kuliev MD


Spirituality And The Law Of Consistency

lost soul

There is a duality that exists in every human being.  The Ying or Yang, honesty or deceit, peace or war, the list is long.

Why you ask?  It just is.  In each of us is the ability to love or to hate.  To create beauty or to destroy.  Sometimes they occur simultaneously.

How can that be?  Well, first of all no one is perfect, so that is not what I am striving for you to look at.  So in order to attempt to address these dualities that exist, I want to talk about coming at a situation, be it relationship, business, an endeavor, or  life, with Spirituality in mind.

Spirituality in this context is not about religion.  It is not about believing that it has to be a God or no God.  As I address this, it is about approaching things as if we are  holistically, intrinsically, physically, and spiritually bound together, knowing  we need each other to survive.  This is true for the interactions of humans, animals, and the earth.  The elements, or atoms of nature are so banded together, that if one part is neglected or harmed, it does not take long for distress to show up in another.

There are many gifts of Spirituality.  Kindness, patience, concern, and love (which is noted as the greatest), that if we’re connected, lead to actions of honesty, integrity, morals, respect, and fairness to name a few.   In incorporating spirituality, a verb leads to an adjective.  The descriptive to to an action. It is the melding of the words with the actions that create a cohesive world, a world with meaning.

Spirituality brings meaning to our lives, our interactions, our values, our worth because in spirituality we are not seeking for self we are seeking for the good of the whole.  If I am aware of and walking with spiritual intent, I am seeking the best outcomes for not only myself, but for mankind and the earth.  I do not seek the wealth, the deal, being superior, manipulative or in control, but I attune myself in creating a relationship that is good for all.  In seek small things to change, such as attitudes, how I judge an individual, my nonverbal or verbal exchanges or alternative ways of seeking a goal that impacts others.  I begin to allow the law of consistency, in seeking a spiritual balance to direct the path.

Brainstorm by Ses

Everyone wants to experience positive states, but experiences negative states. TGL #15.


Every human being that happens to be in a sleep of consciousness desires to escape negative states, and to receive as many positive states as possible. Most likely you think that you need to get rid of negative states too. But what happens when you do so?

The main error of «seekers of positive states» is that they count on getting rid of the negative states, while keeping the positive. However, reinforcing the positive, you also have more negative as a result; and getting rid of the negative, you also lose the positive.

In reality, the positive and the negative are two sides of one coin. Strengthening the positive side of this coin, you automatically reinforce the negative side. Trying to get rid of the negative, you automatically get rid of the positive. Without the negative, there is no positive. That’s what we are going to discuss today.

Everyone wants to experience positive states, but experiences negative states

— I have a strong preconceived notion of how my husband should behave. If his behavior corresponds to my expectations, he is accepted. When he does something that does not correspond to my expectations—he is not accepted.  

— When he is the way you want, he is positive for you. When he is not the way you want, he is negative for you. Both sides are present in you. I assert that you want both the positive and the negative. Therefore, when your husband spends all day on a sofa watching TV, this is exactly what you want, even though you don’t see it that way.

You need to experience hate and love equally. What is the interrelationship of the opposites? What is the interrelationship of positive and negative, good and bad, love and hate? They transform one into another. Can one get rid of something and not lose the opposite?

The «sleeping one» looks for a «golden middle», but in reality is afraid of the exacerbation of the inner conflicts. Some laugh a little bit and cry a bit, while other cry a lot and laugh a lot. They may have different extremes, but the interrelationship of positive and negative is the same in everyone.

If you don’t understand the interrelationship of the opposites, you will not be able to do anything with them. If you do understand it, you should start seeing what happens to you in accordance to how you understand it.

— In relationship to the situation that appeared at home, I thought it would make sense to thoroughly feel my irritation and then to exit to some other state. But I have to see it first.   
— Do you accept irritation in yourself?

— I don’t like myself when I am irritated.  

— Okay. You don’t like yourself irritated; therefore you don’t accept this side of yourself. Who experiences irritation?

— A woman experiences irritation. She is never satisfied.

— Who is that woman?

— That’s me.  

— So, it’s you. So, you are experiencing irritation, not someone else.

— Yes. It is me who is constantly doing something around the kitchen and cleaning the house. This woman experiences irritation.   

— Who is experiencing pleasure?

— It is a different lady.    

— What lady? There was a woman there. Where did lady come from? The negative states are experienced by a woman with mops and brooms, but pleasure is being experienced by a high society lady. Is this the same woman or not? Are you and the other one—you?

— I can be both of them.  

— Okay. So, who are you?

— I am the one who sees both the irritated woman and the calm lady.  

— Okay. You are the one who sees both of them. Does what she see have any relationship to you?

— Yes.

— So, you are the irritated woman, a calm lady, and the one who sees both of them. These are your parts. So, a woman who experiences negative states, and a lady that experiences positive states are your parts. It means that one is positive, and the second is negative.

— I feel more comfortable in a state of comfort and pleasure.    

— Who is this «i»? We already have three of you. It looks like the third one blames the irritated woman. If the third one accuses one and approves of another, it’s not the observer. The observer does not accuse. So, let’s figure these two out. Calm lady likes comfort and quiet. What about the second woman, the irritated woman? What does she like?
— She likes quiet and she yearns for it.  

— Does the irritated woman want to have tranquility?

— Yes. She wants to have everything in order.  

— What does the irritated woman do?

— She tries to finish all household chores.  

— And while doing it, what kind of state is she in? What does she create? What kind of state she creates around her? Irritation. She is the irritated woman. That means that it agrees with her. If she creates irritation, it satisfies her.

She is irritation. If you tell me that the irritated one wants to transform everything into calm and quiet, I will tell you: «No. Why did not she transform her state of irritation into calm and quiet yet? »

— There are many things to be done. She has to change the world around her according to her notions of how it should look. 

— Only then this calm and quiet will appear? You are never going to bring the world into accord with what appears to you, and therefore, you will always be in a state of irritation. Therefore, she needs irritation.

And your quiet lady, why is she quiet?

— Because she does not try to bring the world to fit her expectations. 

— That’s why she is quiet and calm. These are two totally different approaches and they create two completely different states.

So, the irritated woman needs irritation. The calm lady needs calmness. And each one of them creates precisely that.

Both the calm lady and the irritated woman are you. Therefore, you need both irritation and tranquility. Otherwise, how would you know what tranquility is? Tranquility is absence of irritation. How would you know what irritation is? Irritation is absence of tranquility.

You have two sides for comparison. The absence of these sides would allow you to feel neither irritation nor tranquility. Both are you. But currently you create these states mechanically, without any understanding of how you create them.

By accusing and blaming yourself, you cause the state of irritation. That is your method of bringing up this emotional state. That is what we are discussing now. The irritated woman needs irritation. In order to have irritation, she has to be dissatisfied with something. This woman has what she is not satisfied with. That’s why she is irritated.
Fighting with negative states, you reinforce them. And the negative states will follow you until you do not agree with them and do not accept them in yourself. The more positive you will see in the negative, and the more negative you will see in the positive, the more you will move toward holistic awareness of yourself.


Review examples of your life when wishing to get something positive, you received negative. Try to see the connection between the enforcement of positive and synchronic enforcement of the negative.

Take a look at what happens to the positive when you want to decrease the influence of the negative on your emotional state. Can you see that when you start to be afraid of pain, for example in your relationship with relatives, you also deprive yourself of pleasant interactions with them?

Try to see positive in what you consider to be negative. Try to see negative sides in what you consider to be positive. Try to understand why do you need negative, and why do you need positive.