The Meaning and Meaninglessness of Life – TGL #9


Every human being lives his life with a certain meaning, sometimes without even thinking about it. So, what is the meaning of life? Family, kids, work, house, happiness … The majority of people never approaches this question during their lifetime. That is not difficult to understand, as one can only approach this question by making all the meanings of life passed on to us by the survival program uploaded by our parents meaningless. And it is precisely this meaninglessness of life that can bring you to understand the Supreme Meaning of your presence here, on Earth. Today we are going to discuss the duality «meaning—meaninglessness»

The Meaning and Meaninglessness of Life
There is no meaning in life if I don’t see it. If I am afraid and deny meaninglessness, I attract it.  If I experience the state of meaninglessness, I don’t see meaning in anything. What I am afraid of and what I deny, I attract.

If I say: «God, I bless the meaninglessness of life as another side of meaningful life, I see meaning in meaninglessness, and I bless it», — the situation will start to change.

You can do something with awareness or without awareness. The basic and the most important thing that I pass along is awareness. I don’t offer fish to a hungry man; I show him how to catch it. I could have offered you different meanings of life to choose from. There are as many meanings of life as people on this planet. Someone sees meaning of life in a child, another finds it in work or something else. One can hang on to one of those meanings, but this is a mechanical decision.

— There is no meaning. I already passed it. There is no meaning in anything.  

— You are currently experiencing the state of meaninglessness. Why does not it satisfy you? It is a different side of meaning. Being afraid of meaninglessness, you attract it. You get scared of it more and more, and you attract it even more. Do you understand the mechanism that creates your current state? Do you want to see it? Do you see any meaning in it?

— No, I don’t see any meaning in it.  

— “No meaning” and “I don’t want to see it”—there is a big difference here. Why do you even talk about meaning if you don’t want to see it? If you want meaninglessness, you already have it. Why are not you satisfied yet? Then, you want to have meaning. But, at the same time, you insist that you don’t want to see meaning. Where is the problem?

— The problem is in finding meaning.

— You search for meaning, but being afraid of meaninglessness, you attract meaninglessness. Having the desire to have meaning, you will be in a state of meaninglessness. How can you desire something if you already have it? Take a look at how stable this is. It is easily seen from the side, but the one who is in it cannot see it as if you were to see it, your problem would disappear, and this game would stop. What would you do then?

— One can start a new game.  
— But you don’t know any new games. You hold on to the old one because you don’t have a new one yet. If one wants to see something, one sees it. If one does not want to see it, one will not see it, no matter what you do. If you hold on to this problem, it means, you need it. You live it. You experience it. You live through and experience the state of meaninglessness.

— I have to find some kind of a meaning.  

— You don’t “have to” anything. The question is whether it is interesting to you. I simply show you what you have now. We see that you are identified with a state of meaninglessness. If you are in it, you chose it in order to live through it and to experience it. And that is what you are doing—you are experiencing it. Are you ready to choose another state? You don’t need to learn anything. You simply have to make a choice. But you will not make a choice until you clearly see the dual mechanism of your desires.

You consider everything meaningless, and therefore, you deny any meaning. I talk about different meaning, but you don’t understand it, you deny it. «He talks and talks, but everything is meaningless» — is your inner conviction. «What he says is also meaningless … I am meaningless … everything around us is meaningless». You experience meaninglessness. So, be grateful and thank this meaninglessness for what it allows you to experience.
The sincere gratitude to experience received by you appears only when this experience have been totally exhausted. When you lived through a certain experience, gratitude to it appears and you say: «Thank you. I lived through this». When are you going to do it, I don’t know. You will do it when you consider it necessary.

Some people experience meaning, great meaning. They write books about this meaning. They create philosophic, religious, and esoteric systems. Thousands of people are moved by them and follow them. And you just sit here as an idiot, meaninglessly. I, on the other hand, see both sides as one and the same. They experience meaning and you experience meaninglessness. But these are two sides of one coin.
You identified with one side of duality, and this happens to be the reason for you not to have a partner and the rest. What is the reason to have a partner, health, a house, when everything is meaningless? Why get up in a morning when everything is meaningless? I am not saying that this is good or bad. This is how it is. You do what you want to do—rejoice.

You stubbornly choose meaninglessness pretending that you want to find meaning. You don’t want anything else. So, be happy with what you have now. This state became habitual for you. You identified with meaninglessness. You are meaninglessness. Of course, when everything is meaningless, why live?

But, for some kind of reason, you defined yourself as meaningless. This is your own image of yourself. And it is precisely due to this image that you experience the state of meaninglessness.

This state is no worst and no better than any other state. When you happily accept it, another state will appear. But until that time, this state remains. When you accept something, something else appears. If you don’t accept something, it remains and continues. The word “accept” can be said, but you don’t feel this acceptance, don’t experience it.


What other image of yourself do you have? You have a huge, strong image of yourself: «I am meaninglessness». It gives birth to a perception of reality as meaningless. But what kind of new image of yourself are you ready to exchange an old one for? Are you ready to approach and to start to understand the Supreme Meaning of your life?

If you don’t have another image, the old one will continue to work. It means that it satisfies you. You are sitting here. Periodically, you have a desire to leave, but you happen to stay here. Therefore, you see certain meaning in staying here. Not seeing any meaning in being present here, you would have left a long time ago. So, there is a certain meaning.

— I want something to change.  

— Okay. But this is meaning. This is already meaning. So, we cannot say that you don’t have any meaning. Certain meaning is present. So, see it. Feel it. You want something to change, and this is the first step. Start to feel that many things are changing already.

— I am in a state of uncertainty, which leads to inaction.  

— Observe it. Find meaning in it. Look, you already found meaning. If you observe the mechanism of the appearance of the state of meaninglessness, it’s already meaning. If everything is meaningless, what is one to observe it for? You simply happen to be mechanically in meaninglessness. But now you want it to change. You start to observe what happens. Is not it meaningful?


Take a look at your life. Do you consider it to be full of meaning or meaningless? What kind of meaning do you experience now? What kind of an image of yourself allows you to live and to experience what you have in your life?

Try to see meaninglessness in what you vest with meaning. Try to see meaninglessness in what you see as meaningless. Pay attention to the change in the angle of perception that makes meaningful meaningless and vice versa. These metamorphoses are very important in order to see meaning and meaninglessness as two sides of one whole.

The Fight For Independence. TGL #8


The word «dependency» is frequently used in order to express displeasure and unhappiness. One says: «I am dependent». And then one experiences the internal tension and a desire to get rid of this dependency.

Interestingly, the notion of «dependency» itself can be applied to everything that exists in this world. You can declare that you are dependent practically on everything under the sun—both so-called «good» and so-called «bad» things.

So, how do dependencies appear and what do they point to? Dependence appears as a result of a certain part of your personality wishing to receive something. It has certain desires of its own that appear very important to it, and it wants to realize them. At the same time, the opposite part of your personality wants to get rid of what the first part wants, not to allow it, or wants something completely opposite.

Desires of two parts of the personality are opposite and, as it appears to us, self-excluding. Therefore, this is a fight to the end. Only by understanding the principles of the work of the mechanism of the fight for independence will you be able to exit out of its dual trap. We are going to review the essence of this mechanism now.

The Fight for Independence

— I came to understand that when I get into a relationship with a man I become dependent on him materially, and at the same time I make him dependent on me emotionally. At the same time, a strong necessity to be independent appears, and I develop an opposite desire—a desire to get out of that relationship.      

— You said that you feel dependency from material in respect to a man, i.e. you are dependent on him materially. Later on, this dependency starts to irritate you as you start to feel that you are heavily dependent. You were looking for a man based precisely on this necessity for you to be provided by him materially. You found such a man. Later, you start to feel that what you were striving for is now your dependency.

If he were to come to you on Friday and leave some money on a table, smile, and leave, you would say that you do not have a dependency. But he demands something from you for his money. You have to pay something in return. He will want something from you for that money. Is that correct?

— Yes. I feel that I am being controlled that way. I get irritated.   

— Okay. Let’s figure out what he wants for his money. What irritates you?

— The emotional investment into our relationships is more that I can provide. I have to provide constant attention and be close to him all the time. That’s how I see it.   

— You feel that dependency. Based on what do you feel that it turns into dependency for you?

— I have a feeling that I have to and obligated to be with him for the rest of my life and to do everything he wants. I have to behave the way he likes.   

— Actually, he buys you. Right? And the one who pays is the one who orders a song. Therefore, he will dictate what kind of song you will have to sing. And if you don’t sing the song he likes, he will say: «What is this? I paid, but what do you sing? »

— With this on the background, especially when it intensifies, I clearly see myself experiencing very strong aggression that I suppress in order not to compromise this relationship.   

— You suppress your aggression in order to preserve this relationship. But why does one of your parts want to preserve this relationship?

It wants to preserve this relationship because he provides for you materially. In reality, you can say: «I am tired of your requests! Enough is enough! » But there is another part that says: «How can we say that now? Where are we going to get the money? »

— On one hand, I understand that I can support myself financially, but there is another part that is stronger, which has its own opinion, and does not want me to do that.    

— Okay. Let’s take a look at what is written in your program. Is it written there that a woman has to be with a man, and that the man she is with has to provide for her? Is there such a thing in your program?

— Yes. I investigated it and came to the conclusion that that’s how my parents lived.  

— Everything that happens to you is written in your personal program. This personal program is formed and transferred to your personality by your parents, i.e. your father and mother. Therefore, you and any other human being that moves toward wholeness have to become totally aware of this program as the dilemma we are concentrating our attention on right now is a consequence of what is written in your personal program.

This program consists of two opposite sides or two opposite halves or methods of survival. One method of survival tells you: «You have to find a man that will provide for you, hold on to him and prevent him from leaving. » The second side says: «I can earn the money myself» — this is a masculine method of survival. But which one of those sides happens to be conscious for you? When you earn that money and act out of a masculine mode of survival, you do not need men at all. Am I right?

— Yes, that is so.  

— That what happens to a self-made woman which is a common theme today. She starts to make money, and then she doesn’t need a man at all. But this happens to go against the other side of the program of survival: I have to survive using a man. However, you, getting fed up with it, understanding all dependencies, pain, and suffering that accompany it, say: «What do I need those men for? I can survive on my own».

And here we see a dilemma. You have two options. You can be with a man, and experience what you experience now. He will give you money, but he would ask a lot from you. It will start to irritate you. You can also move to another side and say: «I am tired of it». If you gave birth to a child, you can even say: «All those men are not up to par. I know now that I am not going to find a single normal man here. I am going to make a real man out of my boy». And then, not being aware of it, you put your own child in the position of dependency and make your only man out of him.
Currently, you happen to be in a survival mode that is based on a feminine model. Each mode of survival has its minuses and pluses. The minus of the feminine mode of survival is in the things that are required from you for that money. But if you were to survive using the masculine mode, you would be lonely.

— I am in such a state lately when I can’t live running between those two poles. It is connected to the fact that behind this fight something very important is missing. This fight interferes with me all the time. I feel that I have to exit this duality. 

— What duality?

— The one we reviewed—material dependency and independency from a man.

— Look, first we need to determine which duality we are dealing with, and to see that it is not in balance. In your case, one side of you wants to receive the money. It is a certain material, physical aspect. But another side is uncomfortable as it is being oppressed emotionally.

In essence, we see the war that goes on between your centers. That’s a very important point. A human being has three centers: mental or intellectual, emotional, and physical.

The war between your emotional and physical centers manifests itself in the fact that your physical center needs the money, while the emotional center has to pay the bills physical center accrues. One creates the expenses, so to speak, while another reimburses them. I am discussing what happens inside of you now.

— I may not understand it fully, as I have a difficult time following you, but I feel I agree with what you say.  

— This work is not simple. I see it because I had to go through the whole thing myself. I do not discuss anything that I have not experienced myself. It is not easy for you to absorb all of it now as I deliver it to you in a very concentrated form.

Perhaps, we got to such a level that we need to stop this conversation. You need to absorb what I said. Try to comprehend what we discussed.


I offer you to investigate your dependency. What do you consider to be your dependency? Which part of your personality has created what is considered to be a dependency by the opposite part? Exactly what kind of desires are satisfied because of this dependency, and which desires does this dependency prevent you from satisfying? Describe how both sides of your personality fight to achieve their own, opposite desires. Try to see these opposite desires as your own desires. Observe whether your relationship to both of them changes.

Meditation: Rekindling the Spirit Within

“The reward for taming the mind is the clarity of thought.” ~James R. Doty

In a society that has advanced to instant communication at its fingertips, consists of daily congested traffic jams to get to work, and breeds insecurity from its unrealistic beauty standards–it’s hard for the majority of us to find a quiet mind, or a sense of our inner beauty. But the good news is that there is another way to feel good about ourselves. Incorporating a daily practice of meditation has changed how I live in this society, and I believe it could change many  more lives as well.

So what is meditation, exactly? You will hear all sorts of definitions from different people,  and many of you may initially picture a monk cross-legged chanting “Ommm”. But, essentially, meditation is practicing awareness. It is training the mind to focus on one particular thing at a time–whether it be taking a mindful frolic in the grass, staring at a candle flame, or concentrating  on one’s own breathing. With that being said, you can see the contrast from our distracted, rushed society, where most people are quick to rush home from their 9-5, jump on the couch and fret about the violent world news–doing it day after day. There is sometimes very little effort to relax or have inner contemplation. Instead, we continue to look outside of ourselves, hoping for somebody else to change the planet. Were we really meant to live like this?

We may have learned that we were weird, unintelligent, or unimportant from an authoritative influence growing up. As a result, many of us grow up feeling insecure and holding our hearts closed–often subconsciously preventing us from getting to know people at an intimate level. Instead, we feel drawn to relationships with people that never seem to meet us halfway. These people are often emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive in some shape or form.

I am not a fan of victimization, but if there was any place in my life I felt neglected, it came from the emotional abuse of an overly-anxious parent. I remember feeling powerless in many situations at a young age, unsure of when the next angry outburst would expel in the household. Though other factors played a role, the abuse towards me affected the relationship I had with myself and with others.  As I got older, I chased men that never seemed to like me back, at least for too long. Some of my friends would often be criticizing, anxious and even backstabbing. I grew to be a rather pessimistic individual.

But several years later, through many weekends of partying and heartbreaks from emotionally-unavailable people, I finally came to the realization I was unfulfilled. I had very few people in my life that accepted me for the “out there” interests I had. I was into things like near-death experiences, government conspiracies like Area 51, and what the purpose of life was. Alcohol was no longer helping me find lasting friends, and next-day hangovers were nothing to brag about anymore. I was growing up, and really questioning what it was I was looking for. I could no longer blame anybody else–this was all me. Though the world had taught me for so long to look elsewhere, I felt it was finally time to look within.

I started taking a local yoga (yoga is a form of moving meditation) class around that time, and in time began to notice the effects it had on me. I found it easier to relax, be vulnerable with other people, and had increased levels of concentration. I even noticed my desire to drink less and a greater desire to find a more peaceful group of friends. Though the changes were not all smooth and I “lost” many people I thought I knew well, the overall outcome outweighed its bumpy transition. I moved to a new city, studied at a metaphysical school where I practiced daily sitting meditations, and found a wonderful boyfriend and friends that rode a similar boat as me.

Though my journey is continous (as for anyone!), I have a huge desire to spread awareness to others of this overlooked practice. Very few individuals are taught how to meditate in this society unless they search on their own, which in my opinion is one reason this world is increasingly hectic. I used to party a lot of my emotions and worries away, but if I had realized it was okay to be me without the substances, I would have turned back long ago. Meditation allowed me to finally slow down the often non-stop thoughts I had and hear my intuition speak. IMHO, if we can’t stop to hear our own voice, we often turn to listen to other people, taking on their attitudes as our own.

My mission is to encourage others to find quiet time within their day, for at least 10 minutes, free of external distractions. Perhaps one could join a local meditation group (check MeetUp in your local area), practice prayer or a form of meditation in your home, or study ancient spiritual traditions. There is something beautiful about being quiet–your mind eventually slows down, and the heart begins to speak again. Let us change the world with our hearts, and not just our minds.



Guest Post By  MysticalMillenial

From Betrayal to Change, From Change to Transformation TGL # 7


What is a betrayal? The notion of betrayal itself is based on the fact that something belongs to me. It is a harsh and fixed point of view. It has to be so and so, and if it is changed, it is a betrayal.

The word «betrayal» in the Russian language has the same root and is a derivative of a word «change». When your views start to change, it is called a betrayal. But betrayal as change is present everywhere and in everything. Will you allow yourself to see it? That’s the question.

Why do people hold on to such a view on natural changes that change turns into betrayal? That is what we are going to discuss today.

From betrayal to change, from change to transformation

— I just recalled the situation of my wife cheating on me. It hurts me to remember it. We are still together in spite of it, but I am unable to betray her as I am going to be as bad as her.

— You will not be able to blame her any longer.

— Yes. I will not be able to blame her. 

— You get gratification out of this situation by accusing and blaming her. And you do not want to part with it. In reality, betrayal is pleasure. For one, it is in the fact that she is going to be accused, and for another, it is in the fact that he can accuse. Why is this situation created?

— In order to receive pleasure from accusation. 

— You like to accuse. You say: “I did not cheat on her. She is the one who did it.” And if you were to cheat on her, you would lose all the pleasure of accusation.

— He has to cheat on his wife and to calm down.  

— Wait. What does it mean to calm down? He is experiencing pleasure from this act of accusation.

— But you accuse yourself for accusing her.

— Wait. You are not behaving as the investigators should. Why do you want to drop the tension? We need this tension, this voltage? An investigator investigates this voltage. Why was the situation of “cheating” created? It was created in order to have a rightful wrath. It’s not simply your hairdo that was not good enough, but wrath: “You bitch. You cheated on me.”

— And also in order for her to totally depend on me.

— Exactly. There are many factors there and many pluses for you: first—dependency, second—accusation, third—excitation. Look, a man and a woman get together. They live together. They have sex. Sometimes later they get bored—no excitement any longer. What are they to do? Divorce? No. Then he finds out she cheated on him. He screams at her: “You cheated on me.” What does he experience? He experiences the excitement. Take a look at the many pluses this situation has. The one who is jealous starts to imagine who, when, and how she had sex with. He is running around searching.

— Why did she do it?

— There is excitement in all three centers: mental, emotional, and physical center.

— There was a very high excitation in emotional and mental centers.   

— You start thinking: «Does she think I am worse than him? Is he better than me? How is he better? Is he smarter? » Then you start searching for how the other one is more important.

— So, all my life is a search for proves that I am better and more important.

— Take a look at the strong stimulus to action we have here. We receive this stimulation through similar situations. In essence, we were humiliated, and then we try to prove that we are better and stronger for the rest of our lives. Take a look at Zhabotinski for example—a famous Russian heavyweight lifter. He was a sickly child. Take any given human being that possesses some kind of excellent quality or a mastery and you will see that he started from the complete opposite to that quality. This is the basic stimulus for what we call the growth of personality. In order for personality to start to grow, it needs to be bent and humiliated first, so it will constantly want to straighten up.

— So, it is coming from childhood.  

— It continues from childhood. You find a woman that will match the scenario introduced during your childhood.

— It is irrelevant what kind of methods I used. I myself was creating situations in which women were cheating on me.  

— It seems to you that you create something. In reality, the program is installed in you. You simply do it. You are unable not to do it.

Take a look at the importance of the betrayal for stimulation of the personality growth. A woman, for example, lives with a man, trying to do her best for him. And what is it for? It is in order to have the money that he earns. What is she afraid of? She is afraid of him leaving for another woman, and all his money being taken by that woman.

Later on, he cheats and betrays her bringing her to say: «Go to hell». And the hidden meaning of this situation is in the fact that she has to earn money to support herself. A very strong push is needed in order for a woman to move from one mode of survival to another. Life will be different now. She will need to do everything on her own.

What strength of a force is required to push her to do something? What kind of a situation is necessary for this force to come into existence? When a situation occurs that she leaves a man, then the energy appears required for a change. It is similar to a train that was moving in one direction and now has to go to the opposite direction. It has to stop first, and only then, it can start to move in the opposite direction.

What is going to happen next is going to be next. These are the changes, but not the transformation yet. One has to approach transformation. One can approach it only when one receives the experience of both sides of duality, knows and understands it. Something new can be brought into relationships only when you become aware of your own program. It is a heavy work.


Using the offered point of view take a look at what profit you receive when you betray or you are being betrayed. Toward living through what kind of experience are you being pushed by betrayal—change? Try to see this new experience as a complimenting experience, opposite to what you experienced previously.

Guest Post by Dr. Emin Kuliev MD, Click Here to learn more information about “Technologies of Harmonization and Enlightenment of Your Personality” teachings 

Lost Soul

lost soul

Do you feel that you have lost your soul somewhere along the way, that your life is without any purpose or sense of direction? Or are you still searching for a life meaning? If so, you are not alone. Based on my research, four out of every ten people feel that way.

That’s an amazingly high number: 40% of people are not fulfilled with their life, are still searching for the meaning of life, or wish to improve their life on a deep spiritual level. That was one of the reasons I decided to put together the course “13 Steps To Spiritual Awakening” to help people who are ready for and in need of a change. When I look around, I see people who are struggling to pay bills, have problems keeping their marriage together, or are just plain depressed. When I wake up everyday with a smile on my face, and everyone around me loves me and appreciates me for who I am and what I do, I wonder why other people don’t even try to find the way to enjoy their life instead doing things they hate day after day.

We live in a beautiful world, full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have. The world conspires for you to be happy, not unhappy. It is all a matter of perspective, of stepping back and taking a good look at the world around you. How can you ever be bored, depressed, frustrated, annoyed, or jealous in a world of such infinite possibility?

Life is what you make of it. Life is perception: sight, taste, smell, sound, and touch. Your reality depends on your perception of it. It is your perception, so why not make it a positive perception? We live in a beautiful world. It is time that you see the beauty. It is impossible to miss it unless you ignore it. So stop ignoring it and start loving it.

Alex Moses
Awakening Guide